A study conducted by hundreds of the world’s top neuroscientists has concluded that Roger Goodell could erase all his deflategate-related memories by self-administering a dose of blunt head trauma equivalent to just 3 seasons in the NFL.

“There are other ways Mr. Goodell could go about moving on from this embarrassing debacle,” explained Boston-based neurosurgeon Amelia Brown.  “He could find a new job or oversee an even more embarrassing scandal for the NFL, but if Mr. Goodell wants to actually erase his deflategate memories by reconfiguring his brain, we’ve found that there’s no substitute to subjecting himself to the same levels of repeated head trauma experienced by the average third-year player in the very league that he supervises.”

Dr. Brown did note one important caveat to the study that may pertain to the case of Commissioner Goodell: the results only apply to humans with normally functioning empathy centers in their brains to begin with, meaning people who possess a general awareness that their personal agenda must be pursued in the context of a world with billions of other people who also have thoughts and feelings.

“Over his tenure as commissioner Mr. Goodell has exhibited the behaviors of a certain subset of the human race that doesn’t need help erasing bad memories or feelings of guilt and embarrassment,” said Dr. Brown.  “Sociopathic dictators.”

“Joseph Stalin amassed incredible wealth and power by willfully abusing the people who served him, but he wouldn’t need to adopt a method to help him ‘move on’ because he saw nothing wrong with his behaviors in the first place.  Now, with Mr. Goodell, I’m not saying…” concluded Brown, “but I am kinda saying.”

Despite how desperate the commissioner must be to forget every aspect of the deflategate scandal, it’s unclear whether a man as chronically averse to the findings of neuroscience as Mr. Goodell would ever consider implementing the recommendations of this study.

However, if he did join his own league as a player and wished to maximize memory-erasing head trauma, a recent survey of hundreds of players and thousands of fans found unanimous agreement that the most dangerous job in the NFL this season will be “Quarterback for the Chicago Bears.”